Empowering Women: Surviving Domestic Abuse and Achieving Greatness

Breaking the Silence: A Warrior’s Perspective on Men’s Behaviour and Societal Change

By Tiffany Sxefit

Survivor. Warrior. Builder. Creator. These words describe me because I’ve had no choice but to embody them. I didn’t grow up with guidance, privilege, or stability—I grew up on survival mode. I taught myself everything I know, from DIY skills to renovating my home and building my business. I raised myself when there was no one else to do it, and along the way, I learned self-belief not from encouragement but because I had no other option. I made adult decisions as a child, choices no one that young should ever face, but life didn’t wait for me to grow up—it forced me to.

Looking back, I realize how being passed around, attending four different high schools, and facing relentless bullying shaped my resilience. Rumours followed me wherever I went, and people judged me harshly—primarily because of how I looked. At the time, my main inspiration was Pamela Anderson. She was, and still is, a woman of beauty, grace, and strength, but she was packaged and marketed by men to be a mere commodity, a pin-up figure designed to serve the male gaze. I admired her not for how men portrayed her, but for the strength she had behind the image, and that’s a strength I’ve carried with me through years of mental and physical abuse at the hands of men.

The Damaging Legacy of Misogyny

From the age of 13, my own father called me a "slag." Think about the irony—this coming from a man who got my mother pregnant at 15 and then, after marriage, fathered a child with another woman at 21. Pot calling kettle, right? But this isn’t just about my personal experience. It’s a reflection of a deeply ingrained cultural problem—a problem that normalizes harmful male behaviour while shaming women for simply existing.

I teach in a women-only facility, and I’ve seen first-hand how insecure men can become because of that. But let’s be clear—those men are not men. They’re abusers, raised in a society that enables toxic masculinity and warped attitudes toward women. This isn’t just about individual responsibility anymore; it’s about a broken culture. One that teaches boys entitlement, dominance, and objectification while teaching girls silence, shame, and survival.

A Call for Change

We need change, and it needs to start with education. Yes, parents have a responsibility, but society hasn’t done a great job of being responsible about who becomes parents in the first place. If you let rats breed, you get a world full of rats. That’s harsh, but it’s true. We cannot keep breeding a culture of toxicity and expect it to fix itself.

One specific change we need is to rethink how language shapes our world. Words like "slag" should have no place in modern vocabulary. Think about it—this term was created by men to demean women. It’s targeted, it’s cruel, and it reinforces misogyny. We need to remove such words from our lexicon, and more importantly, we need to stop telling women to "just ignore it." Ignoring abuse doesn’t make it go away. We’ve ignored it for generations, and where has that gotten us? Two women are still dying every week at the hands of men. Silence hasn’t saved them.

A Future Worth Fighting For

As someone who has lived through years of trauma and abuse, I can tell you that change won’t come from politely asking for it. It will come when we demand it, loudly and relentlessly. We need to teach boys and girls about respect, empathy, and healthy relationships—not just in the home but in schools. Behaviour lessons, emotional intelligence training, and a cultural shift in how we view gender roles are essential. This isn’t about hating men; it’s about eradicating the behaviours and mindsets that continue to harm women.

We are not here to be silent. We are not here to be objectified, shamed, or erased. We are here to live fully, freely, and fearlessly. So let’s build a world where survivors don’t just survive—they thrive. A world where the word "slag" disappears, and the word "respect" becomes universal. A world where warriors like me aren’t the exception but the norm.

The change starts now, and it starts with us.